A Note to Prospective Students Regarding Practicum at MHGS

I figure since my blog is still listed somewhere on the MHGS website, there's a chance prospective students might drop by here on occasion.  As such, I wanted to use this space to offer this particular group of people my two cents about Practicum.

Yesterday I was around for the tail end of a panel discussion at school that was part of the Experience Mars Hill weekend.  People were asking great questions, and judging by the caliber of people on the panel, I trust it had been a valuable hour of conversation.  But one part unnerved me.  I found myself uncomfortable, disappointed, and aggravated by the overall tone of the panel around the topic of Practicum.  I felt like if the pre-MH me were sitting in this audience, I would not only feel discomforted by the superlative descriptions of Practicum, but also intimidated by some of the defensive language used around the topic of Practicum.

So here is my opinion on Practicum, and I should say up front I am no formal spokesperson for MH, just a student:

Yes, Practicum will have heavy moments and uncomfortable moments.  It will press against your insecurities and ask something of you.  But my bet is that you will likely feel a sense of real support from others, and I dare say there will be laughter and joy in the mix as well.  For sure it is a complicated experience like none other.  But above all what I want to communicate is, practicum is not meant to be a violent experience, or one where you are to prove your worth as a therapist by stripping down emotionally for others.  If these things somehow begin to happen, something is wrong and I hope you'll fight for yourself in that situation.

To be clear, no one on yesterday's panel was advocating a violent Practicum experience in the least.  But to me it was part of a bigger issue.  I think once we students are here and adjusted, we can forget how fragile it can feel entering the MHGS milieu, and how there may be heightened sensitivity around, "What the devil do they do to people at this place??"

No doubt I am trying to advocate here for the type of person who is like me--easily intimidated and frightened by those with power.  And certainly I am trying to give a little boost of immunity to the incomings in the way of resistance against any intimidation that might come their way.  When I came into MH I was anxious about it but so joyful, confident even.  Coming out of a some painful years of my life, MH was denouement (MH word) for me in the truest sense.  I was so excited for what lie ahead and felt empowered to bring myself without shame.  But then, sad sad, in the weeks before school started just a few otherwise deeply kind persons gave me some callous, intimidating words about certain MH experiences.  And that was all it took.  My confidence was shot, I no longer felt safe, and I was terrified of my first day of classes.  There's more to the story, but it wasn't until second semester that I began to feel safe and confident again.

I'm not the only one with such stories of intimidation around here, indeed I know I have perpetuated fear myself.  I just wish we could stop.  Intimidation is just not helpful.

Another thing I wanted to assure the group of yesterday--if I were the type who could find her words that quickly--is that if you come to MH you will not be made powerless.  You will impact Mars Hill.  You will mark/shape this place with your uniqueness.  By and large it has been my experience here, and I hope it will be yours too, that my power, my "self", and my difference has been invited, honored, and heard.  Celebrated even.  I personally have not found transformation here to be violent.  Truly I have found this to be a place of tremendous kindness.  Are there stories of harm?  Absolutely.  I think everyone I know here has at least one such story, both of harming and being harmed.

But, bottom line.  If you have a desire to come here, please don't be scared off.  That would be our loss.